From Struggle to Strength: An Executive Functioning Specialist Reflects on The Benefits of Professional Support

by Courtney Forti

Many folks in education will tell you that learning is a two way street. For every concept, equation, or skill you help a student master, you are usually learning a thing or two in the process as well.  For me, one lesson I have come to understand time and time again is that professional help is invaluable for students and families seeking to navigate academic challenges without added stress. 

I have had the privilege of working with students who face a range of academic challenges. Whether it’s difficulty with reading comprehension, struggles with executive functioning, or anxiety around math, I have seen firsthand how having someone with a professional lens can not only reduce stress but also support students and their families in building greater confidence and resilience across all areas of life.

The Relationship

One of the biggest advantages of external support is the new relationship it provides. Parents, understandably, are deeply invested in their child’s success and wellbeing. This emotional investment, though rooted in love and care, can often lead to frustration, stress, and power struggles that exhaust all parties, straining even the strongest of relationships.

Stepping in as an Executive Functioning Specialist, I arrive as a new presence, available to help the student identify and accomplish their goals without the added pressure of family dynamics or school affiliation. This is not only less emotionally charged, but it offers students an opportunity to “start fresh” when it comes to thinking about their challenges and why they want to address them. Often, talking these things through with someone new helps a student uncover and articulate their own motivation for change and improvement. From there, we are then able to build a relationship on trust, encouragement, and collaboration rather than tension. 

Cultivating Independence

For many struggling students, understanding how to access and effectively utilize support can be particularly challenging. In many cases, parents have stepped in over the years to assist their children in this realm. While temporarily helpful and sometimes very necessary, this dynamic can create complications down the line by preventing their child from building this necessary skill. 

Many of the students I work with have a high level of anxiety communicating with teachers, counselors, and other support people in their lives. Of course, this is understandable as asking for help often isn’t always comfortable, but without having the opportunity to overcome this challenge in a safe and supportive environment, self-advocacy and accessing support will be much more challenging later in life. This can significantly impede independence.  Working with students to discover tools and scaffolding to help them communicate and advocate more independently, I have seen students increase their comfort in doing so and become more confident overall. Over time, this skill transfers to other areas of life allowing them to feel empowered when working with others.  

A Safe Space to Overcome Anxiety 

Anxiety can be an especially tricky hurdle for students and families to address. Not only does it impact academic performance, but it can also create stress for the entire family, as parents and caregivers try to navigate how best to help their child without adding more pressure. I’ve had students who shut down when certain topics come up due to the level of anxiety they are experiencing. 

When I begin working with a student struggling with anxiety, my first focus is to establish a positive relationship that helps a student feel at ease. We may get to know each other through games and fun activities before we talk about the more difficult challenges. While this is difficult for a parent to do in the heat of a homework session, in our work it helps students feel safe enough to engage in learning new skills for managing anxiety such as self-regulation and executive functioning strategies. In this space, they can face their challenges without fear of disappointing their family or teachers. It also frees up the family from the pressure they may feel to help their child academically. They can instead focus on being supportive without being as closely linked to the source of the stress. As the student uses new strategies and gains more positive experiences, they often notice that they are better able to manage their anxiety and may not feel the same level of stress they once felt around challenging subjects. 

Collaboration Without Conflict

I have spoken to many parents who feel stuck and frustrated with the level of resistance they encounter when trying to help their child succeed in school. Oftentimes, when I start working with students, home has become tense around academics or other responsibilities that the child is struggling with. What started as well-intended support may have turned into daily power struggles, leaving the whole family feeling disconnected. 

In my unique role, I have found that I am able to alleviate this sense of conflict in a variety of ways. Firstly, I make a point to meet with and get to know the student on their own terms while inviting family members to share their observations and concerns with me separately. This allows me to both build trust and gain a better understanding of what the challenges look like from multiple perspectives without activating unhelpful patterns such as arguing, rescuing, or shutting down. 

As time goes on, I share my observations of challenges with the student and invite them into working on those challenges together. The invitation to collaborate puts the learner in the driver’s seat while helping them to uncover their own intrinsic motivation academically. When families observe this change in their child, I notice that their anxiety is often reduced as well. They are more able to trust and support their child, knowing they can lean on me when they have concerns about academics. Finally, as an Executive Functioning Specialist, being able to provide education and concrete skill-building allows me to offer students and their families objective information that they can use to understand themselves and their learning style. This knowledge, alongside the strategies and tools developed in our sessions together, increases self-awareness while reducing tension in the home environment. 

Final Thoughts

In my experience, bringing in professional support for a struggling student has the potential to transform learning for the individual and positively impact the family as a whole. As students develop executive functioning, self-advocacy, and emotional regulation skills, they gradually begin to internalize our work together, gaining confidence and concrete skills that serve them holistically. Watching students start to trust their own abilities, tackle challenges with a sense of control, and take ownership of their learning is certainly the most rewarding part of my job, but the pride, positivity, and overall relief I hear from parents observing this shift is a close second.